THE MAN WITH HIS FACE IN HIS FACE

After a decade of learning the guitar solo from stairway to heaven in reverse, the man with his face in his face finally completes it. Not realising the consequence of his actions, the very forces which hold his atoms together relieve themselves of duty as he begins to melt in his armchair.

With every pluck and strum the fragments of what was once his face repeatedly lap against the skin shower in an agonising cycle as he melds with the music of god, resonating in ten dimensional hyperspace.

say cheese

Existential Teatime Quizzes

"Deal? or Possibly No Deal?" and also "You Say (a meaningless jumble of phrases), We Pay (thousands and thousands of pounds)" offer a glimpse into the abyss. The former could technically be played in under five minutes were it not for the prodigious web of nonsense spun by Noel. The latter works in exactly the opposite way to a normal quiz, as the more you stutter and sound confused, the more likely Richard is to turn around and look at the picture, thereby awarding you £1000 pounds.

Paris Hilton gives self away free with chocolates

heads down thumbs up!

If One Wish: Puff, The magic, non-gender Dragon

05/05/03
01:04am




specs:
-It is any colour you want it to be
-3ft long
-Breathes out Ganja and your desired munch
-eyes give out money
-Snots beer
-Ears spliff roll hey
-Nipples- presents via suckling
-Fit birds come out anus, and then grow
-Non Gender Dragon
-Magic Eggs make dreams a reality for a yet to be announced amount of time.
-Dragon reads your mind, As soon as the thought goes into your head you have what you need

That'll be Threnty-tween Pounds

Essence of Bragg-Captured. Next.

Transformers II

A Bed of Nails

It's a familiar situation - you need a nail of a specific length, but there are only two in the house. One of them is fractionally too small, and the other too long. The 21st century solution is here with A Bed of Nails. Simply place the two nails on a luxurious heart-shaped four-poster bed in a private room complete with the following erotic luxuries -
- Stereo carved out of a rubber on tiny shelves
- Pen lid painted to look like lava lamp
- Several original works of art to set the mood
- Miniscule paper tiger-skin rug
then pop a lid on (depending on how friendly you've become with the nails) and give them some privacy. Nearly two years they've been in there, and so far nothing. Looks like a trip to the shops after all.

Meanwhile: